SOME THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS: A FINAL EVENING WITH THE ILLUMINATI
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For amateur rights, contact: Dramatists Play Service, Inc.
Illuminati, by Larson and Lee, was first performed in 1981 at the Nexus Theatre in Atlanta Georgia. In 1986 it was performed at the Humana Festival at the Actor’s Theatre of Louisville and was subsequently published by Dramatists Play Service. It has since become popular, particularly among universities and regional theaters around the country..
The Reverend Eddie, a slightly deranged priest, and his faithful hunchbacked assistant, Brother Lawrence, still carry on a version of religious rites in what remains of a bombed out church after some kind of apocalypse. Reverend Eddie tries to stick to the orthodox forms, as he composes his sermon, “Life is Like a Basketball Game,” but he keeps having unwelcome visions that seem to fly in the face of the authority of The Church. One vision shows two country music singers performing the ditty, “Jesus Was a Lutheran”; another, a job interview with a candidate for sainthood, trying to decide on the best form of martyrdom; and another shows the biblical figures Paul and Timothy making up the Church’s rules for women. Finally, Reverend Eddie fights a final battle with the Illuminati in a basketball game with Death.
“…a very funny evening of theatre.” The Irish Times.
The Irish Times
Illuminati is now a screenplay, scheduled for production in 2023.
Scene excerpt from Act One:
REV. EDDIE: It’s almost time to begin, Lawrence. I’m going to prepare. (He goes to his bed and begins vocal warmups. Brother Lawrence sits near him, on the bed, doing his best to imitate the Reverend.)
BRO. LAWRENCE: (Interrupting) Reverend Eddie? (Pause) Reverend Eddie?
REV. EDDIE: What!
BRO. LAWRENCE: Last night, when I was all alone in my room…I had a vision.
REV. EDDIE: No you didn’t.
BRO. LAWRENCE: Yes, I did.
REV. EDDIE: No, you didn’t.
BRO. LAWRENCE: Yes, I did.
REV. EDDIE: No, you didn’t.
BRO. LAWRENCE: I think I did.
REV. EDDIE: NO, YOU DIDN’T!
BRO. LAWRENCE: (Pause) I guess I didn’t.
REV. EDDIE: Of course you didn’t. Hunchbacks don’t have visions.
BRO. LAWRENCE: That’s right. I forgot.
REV. EDDIE: Saints have visions.
BRO. LAWRENCE: Right.
REV. EDDIE: Are you a saint?
BRO. LAWRENCE: Right. I guess it was just a dream.
REV. EDDIE: Of course it was a dream.
BRO. LAWRENCE: Do you want to hear about my vis…dream?
REV. EDDIE: No.
BRO. LAWRENCE: I was lying on my bed. I couldn’t sleep, because of all the noises in my room. You know how my clock goes. (Makes noise like a clock.) “tick-tock, tick-tock”, and you know how my bedsprings, even when I move just a little bit, go “eee-eee-eee-eee”, and you know how the plumbing goes “”gur-whoompa-whoompa, gur-whoompa-whoompa” (He does this for a long time.), and you know how my radiator goes (He has now worked himself into a frenzy.)“wanka-wanka-wanka-wanka” (Longest and loudest yet.)…
REV. EDDIE: I know!
BRO. LAWRENCE: Anyway, I couldn’t sleep. And, all of a sudden, my room lit up with a blinding glow. Even when I closed my eyes, I could see the light. And then, I opened my eyes, and there was this beautiful lady in a silver lame jumpsuit, standing by my bed, and she spoke to me in a soft, wonderful voice, with a slight trace of a Spanish accent, and she said, “I was sent forth from the power. I come to those who reflect upon me.” And I said, “Who are you?”, and she said, “I am the first and the last. I am the honored one and the scorned one. I am the whore and the Holy One. I am the wife and the virgin. I am knowledge and ignorance. I am shameless and I am ashamed.” And then, she reached out and touched me on the cheek, and she said, “Lawrence, do not despair. You will be healed and made whole.” And then, she jumped in her space ship and she flew away–“whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo–schuuuuuuuup!” ((Pause) What do you think, Reverend Eddie? (Silence) Reverend Eddie?
REV. EDDIE: What?
BRO. LAWRENCE: Do you think she told the truth?
REV: EDDIE: Who?
BRO. LAWRENCE: (Excited)The Space Lady!
REV: EDDIE: What are you talking about? You’re talking nonsense!
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