SCENE EXCERPT

THE AUDITIONS:

LIGHTS UP ON THE TRIMBLE COUNTY CULTURE CENTER. BROTHER SETS UP CHAIRS FOR AUDITIONS.  COOKA AND BEVERLY ARE WARMING UP.  COOKA, WEARING A LONG BLOND WIG, IS RECITING LINES FROM THE PLAY. ED ENTERS.

ED: Well, if we can all have a seat,  I want to thank you for turning out tonight for the auditions for…for…

COOKA: “Wuthering!”

ED: I…what?

COOKA: “Wuthering” with an explanation point. Because it’s a musicale.

ED: “Wuthering”, then. And of course our fabulous author, Mrs. Cooka Pippin.

COOKA STANDS AND TAKES A BOW AS ED, AND ONLY ED, APPLAUDS.

COOKA: Thank you. Madame author. Well here stands Anais Nin or somesuch.  This is a high point in my life.  I’m very excited to see who our cast will be besides me, and I know Mister Steckel will do a wonderful job on that score and will also do a wonderful job on the score. That’s all I have to say.  Thank you very much.

ED: Well, thank you. Now, before we begin, let me say a few things about our play…our musical…based on a very very great classic, (HE HOLDS UP A COPY OF THE CLIFF’S NOTES OF “WUTHERING HEIGHTS”)…by Emily Bronte, by the way…(LOOKS AT BEVERLY)

BEVERLY: I said Emily.

ED: Now, before we start handing out roles, let’s ask ourselves an important question.   First of all, why Wuthering Heights?  Why not, for instance, one of Emily Bronte’s other great novels.

COOKA: Like what?

ED: (PAUSE) Or any other book period! Or any idea. I just want to say I’m very very excited. I’m very very hopeful. And I know that when people of the town, or the world, see this, or whatnot, they’re going to say “Wow!” Or “that’s a trip!” Or whatever you say down here. “Wow, what a piece of Southern….what a thing to see…”  They’re going to love it I’m sure. Now, before we let in the auditionees, does anybody have any questions?

BEVERLY: I have a question.

ED: Shoot.

BEVERLY: What auditionees?

ED: The auditionees waiting to audition.

BEVERLY: I think you’re looking at the auditionees.

ED: What is this, Southern humor?

BEVERLY: No, this is “Southern” humor. (HE HITCHES UP HIS PANTS COMICALLY AND SPEAKS IN A CORNBALL ACCENT) “Hey, they ain’t no dang people to ardition, and what kind’a deal is an ardition anyhow? I’ll jest wait in the pickup with my wife-slash-cousin.” No, we are it.

ED: Didn’t anyone announce the auditions?

COOKA: I posted a notice on the Web.

ED: What about the newspaper. I took them a notice three days ago.

COOKA: It’s a weekly. This coming Friday there will be a notice about tonight’s audition.

ED: Well that’s… okay. So….(PAUSE) Cooka, Beverly, why don’t you warm up, and we’ll get to it?

(BEVERLY AND COOKA LOOK AT HIM BLANKLY)

COOKA: Warm up?

ED: Stretch out.

BEVERLY: (With authority) Stretch out.

ED: Loosen up.

BEVERLY: Loosen up.

RELUCTANTLY, COOKA AND BEVERLY WARM UP, ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE ROOM. BROTHER APPROACHES ED.

BROTHER: What about me?

ED: What?

BROTHER: The play. You know, the audition.

ED: Oh, God, no, I don’t expect you to audition.

BROTHER: Why not?

ED: Well, you’re …I mean…I just don’t….We could find a job for you moving scenery or… props.

BROTHER: I’d like to audition, please.

ED: Well, the only part for someone your age in the play is Heathcliff. (Beverly laughs) What, his name’s not Heathcliff?

BROTHER: I suppose it is. I’d like to audition.

ED: Oh. Well. Okay. (Pause) Let’s see. Do you have a monologue?

BROTHER: Yes.

ED: Then why don’t you do that?

BROTHER: All right. Now?

ED: When the time comes.

BROTHER: All right.

(HE STARTS TO WARM UP. DURING THE PREVIOUS CONVERSATION, A YOUNG WOMAN HAS ENTERED AND STANDS, WATCHING. ED NOTICES HER.

ED: Hello, or whatever you say down here.

ARLENE: Can you tell me where the auditions are at?

ED: Right here.

ARLENE: (LOOKING AT BEVERLY AND COOKA AND BROTHER) So you get the room after the aerobics class is done?

ED: No, these are…how did you find out about the auditions?

ARLENE: Carl at the feed store told me about it. He saw it on the Web.

ED: Well, welcome. (WRITES ON HIS CLIPBOARD) Could I have your name?

ARLENE: Yeah, I guess you could, but that would be sorta strange, wouldn’t it? What is your name?

ED: Ed Steckel.

ARLENE: (POINTING TO HIS THINNING HAIR AND POORLY CONCEALED BALD SPOT) What you got going on up there?  What’s that about, sweetheart.

ED: I…have some enhancement.

ARLENE: Can’t tell it. My name is Arlene Stoner. Do you know “Stoner’s”?

ED: The Stoners?

ARLENE: No, “Stoner’s”.

ED: Stoner’s.

ARLENE: I’m part of those Stoners.

ED: Well, let’s get started. Please take a seat, or whatever…

SONG: Cathy’s death

HEATHCLIFF
Cathy…

HE FLINGS HIMSELF ON TOP OF HER BODY.

CATHY
Oh, Heathcliff, I’m not wishing you greater torment than I have…

EDGAR STICKS HIS HEAD IN THE DOOR.

EDGAR
Tea?

HEATHCLIFF
No thank you.

CATHY
I’m tryin’ to quit.

EDGAR LEAVES.
HEATHCLIFF
(STILL ON TOP OF CATHY) Cathy!

CATHY
Heathcliff, I can’t breathe.

HEATHCLIFF
I know, darlin”

CATHY
No, I mean I can’t breathe. Get offa me!

HE DOES SO.

CATHY
Come and kneel.

HEATHCLIFF
Yes, mistress Cathy. (KNEELS)

CATHY
You never harmed me in your life. If you nurse anger, that will be worse to remember than my harsh words. You are not my Heathcliff. I shall love mine yet, and take him with me. He is in my soul. Heathcliff, dear, you should not be sullen. Let me see a little smile. (FOR THE FIRST TIME, SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY, HEATHCLIFF SMILES) Never mind. (HE STOPS SMILING. CATHERINE PULLS HERSELF TO HER FEET) Oh, Heathcliff, if I’ve done wrong, I’m dying for it. You left me, but I won’t upbraid you. I forgive you. Please Heathcliff, forgive me!

SHE COLLAPSES IN HIS ARMS AND DIES.

HE PICKS HER UP IN HIS ARMS AND SINGS.

SONG: WHY DID YOU DESPISE ME?

Oh, Catherine
Oh, Catherine
You teach me just how cruel you’ve been.
And now you’re dead
And what you said
Comes stabbing like a knife inside my head

HE LETS HER FEET FALL TO THE FLOOR AND DRAGS HER ACROSS THE STAGE, HOLDING HER UNDER HER ARMS.

Why did you desert me?
Why did you betray your heart?
Why did you despise me?
Why did you make hate an art?

HE LAYS HER FLAT ON THE FLOOR.

You may kiss me, and cry, and wring out my kisses and tears.
They’ll blight you, they’ll damn you, they’ll reek in your grave through the years.
They’ll eat at your soul in the same way that worms eat your flesh.
And our love will grow stale while your selfishness stays ever-fresh.

MUSICAL BRIDGE
HEATHCLIFF DRAGS HER TO A BENCH AND SITS HER ON IT. HE POSES HER,
CROSSING HER LEGS AND RESTING HER HAND ON HER HEAD.

Do I want to live when my lover is dead? I think not. (HE SHAKES HER HEAD)
Oh your curses will live through the years, though your body will rot.
Do I want to live without some of the love that I gave?
Oh, God! Would you like me to live with your soul in the grave?

DURING THE LAST COUPLE LINES, HEATHCLIFF HAS LEFT CATHY’S BODY AND COME TO THE FRONT OF THE STAGE TO SING. BEHIND HIM, CATHY’S BODY SLOWLY COLLAPSES AND SLIPS FROM THE BENCH TO THE FLOOR. HE TURNS TRIUMPHANTLY ON HIS LAST LINE AND SEES HER BODY. HE PICKS HER UP AND FLINGS HER OVER HIS SHOULDER LIKE A SACK OF FLOUR.

Why did you despise me?
Why did you hate me so?
Why did you leave me?
Who gave you permission to go?
Who gave you permission to go?
To go?
To go?
To go?

THE LIGHTS DIM AND WE THINK THE SONG IS OVER, BUT THEY SNAP BACK UP.

Did I say you could?
Whoever said you could?
I never said you could go?

AGAIN THE LIGHTS DIM, AS IF TO SIGNAL THE SONG’S END. AGAIN, THEY SNAP BACK UP, SURPRISING THE AUDIENCE, AND HEATHCLIFF.

Just leave your key to my heart on the dresser and go. (HE DROPS HER ON THE BED)
(SPOKEN)
Go on. Get out of here. Bye bye.
(FINALLY, TO ED)
Cathy has left the building!

HE COLLAPSES. BLACKOUT